Good manners and situations

 

In the name of God, the most gracious, the most merciful

Good manners

Good character is one of the greatest objectives of Islamic law. You will not find a surah in the Book of Allah or a hadith of the Messenger of Allah except that it urges good character and adorns oneself with it. Good character is one of the greatest acts of obedience by which the Muslim servant draws closer to his Creator and Master, and in which he follows the example of his beloved Muhammad ibn Abdullah, may the prayers and peace of my Lord be upon him. I will move with you, my beloved ones in Allah, in speaking about good character from the Qur’an and Sunnah, its levels and fruits, seeking help with the power, strength and support of Allah. I ask Allah, the Most High, the Almighty, to grant me and you good character.

First, the definition of good manners

Ethics in the language is the plural of creation, and creation is the name for the human nature and disposition upon which he was created.

Al-Raghib said: “Creativity is the forms, shapes and images perceived by sight, and great character, as Al-Tabari said, is great manners, and this is the manners of the Qur’an and its laws.” This meaning was narrated from Ibn Abbas in his interpretation of the Almighty’s saying: “And indeed, you are of a great moral character.” Mujahid said: “Creativity is religion,” and he provided evidence with the words of the Mother of the Believers Aisha: “His character was the Qur’an.” Likewise, the Prophet’s companions, may God bless him and grant him peace, had their morals derived from the Qur’an. Al-Mawardi said: “There are three aspects to great character: the manners of the Qur’an, the religion of Islam, and the noble nature, which is the apparent one.” Al-Fayruzabadi, may God have mercy on him, said: “Know that all religion is character, so whoever surpasses you in character surpasses you in religion, and it is based on four pillars: patience, courage, justice, and chastity.” Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: “Good character is giving, offering, and tolerance.” Ahmad said: “Good character is not to envy, get angry, or hold a grudge.” Some of them said: “Good character is every noble and praiseworthy characteristic in nature that a Muslim man and woman should be adorned with. When you see it in him, you know that it is part of his religion.”

Signs of good character

Al-Ghazali, may God have mercy on him, said: Some of them gathered the signs of good character and said: He should be very shy, not harmful, very righteous, honest of tongue, little talk, much work, little error, little cursing, pious, upright, dignified, patient, grateful, content, wise, gentle, chaste, and tender. He should not curse, insult, or backbite, nor be hasty, nor spiteful, nor stingy, nor envious, cheerful and cheerful, he should love for the sake of God and hate for the sake of God, be pleased for the sake of God and get angry for the sake of God. This is good character.

Sahl was asked about good manners, and he said: The least of them is tolerating harm, not rewarding, having mercy on the oppressor, asking forgiveness for him, and feeling compassion for him.

Pillars of good character

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Madarij al-Salikeen: Good character is based on four pillars, and it is impossible to imagine its leg standing without them: patience, chastity, courage, and justice.

1- Patience makes him endure, suppress anger, refrain from harm, be forbearing, patient, gentle, and not be rash or hasty.
2- Chastity makes him avoid vices and ugliness in speech and action, and makes him modest, which is the head of all good, and prevents him from indecency, miserliness, lying, backbiting, and gossip.

3- Courage leads to self-esteem, preferring the highest morals, and giving and generosity, which is the courage of the soul and its strength to expel the beloved and leave him, and to be able to suppress anger and be patient. Therefore, he, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry.” Agreed upon.

4- Justice leads him to be moderate in his morals and to be in the middle between the extremes of excess and deficiency.

Know, O servant, that the origin and structure of all base morals is based on four pillars: ignorance, injustice, lust, and anger.

Sections of good manners

Good manners are divided into :

1- Good manners with God, which is the highest level of all. It is not reasonable for a servant to be negligent with God and perfect with others. Good manners with God are achieved by achieving servitude to God Almighty alone, with no partner for Him. Our motto should always be: We hear and we obey. Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the return.

2- Good manners with the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, by magnifying his love, elevating the status of his Sunnah, adhering to it, acting upon it, and striving to spread it among people.

3- Good manners with the Book of God Almighty, by reading it, contemplating it, acting in accordance with it, avoiding its prohibitions, and referring to it in every small and large matter, and not giving priority to anything else over it.

4- Good manners with the angels. This means that each one of us should know that there are angels with him who write down and count his deeds. This will create in him shame about committing a sin that will be written down and seen by the angels when he commits it.

5- Good manners with people, by being cheerful, upright, kind, gentle, and gentle with them. Look at how God commanded Moses and Pharaoh to be gentle with Pharaoh, so speak to him with gentle speech, for you are not better than Moses and Aaron, peace be upon them, and the one you call upon is not more evil than Pharaoh.

Quran and good manners

There is no surah in the Book of Allah that does not contain many verses that encourage good manners in everything with Allah, with the Prophet, with family, wives, and with people. If we were to say that Islam is the religion of perfection and completeness of morals, then our statement would be true and correct without doubt. Allah the Almighty said, addressing His beloved and Chosen One, and the command is also for the entire nation: “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.” Ja’far bin Muhammad said: Allah the Almighty commanded His beloved and Chosen One with all the noble morals. Show forgiveness, meaning accept people’s actions without diminishing them, such as accepting excuses, forgiving, and being lenient, and leaving investigation, research, and searching for the truths of their inner selves. And enjoin what is right, meaning everything that is right. Know monotheism, then the rights of servitude and the rights of slaves. Turn away from the ignorant, meaning rise above the ignorance of the ignorant, so do not meet him with foolishness. Allah the Almighty said: “And speak to people kindly,” meaning to all people, believers and polytheists. Allah the Almighty said: “And speak to him with gentle speech.” And Allah the Almighty said: “
And indeed, you are of a great moral character.” This is a description from Allah. Come on, for the morals of his beloved and chosen one and the best of his creation, may the prayers and peace of my Lord be upon him, and he called upon the entire nation to adorn itself with that. God Almighty said, “You are the best nation produced for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.” This is from the perfection and completeness of good morals. Enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong is
the Sunnah of the Prophet, may the prayers and peace of God be upon him, and good morals.

God Almighty said: “And indeed, you are of a great moral character.” Ibn Abbas said about it: “It is a comprehensive praise that includes all good from God Almighty to His beloved and chosen one. We have not heard our Lord Almighty praise anyone of creation with such praise except Muhammad, may the prayers and peace of my Lord be upon him.”

Anas, may God be pleased with him, said: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, was the best of people in character. Agreed upon. Anas said: I have never touched brocade or silk softer than the hand of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, nor have I ever smelled a scent more pleasant than the scent of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him. I served the Prophet for ten years and he never said to me “ugh,” nor did he say to me about something I did, “Why did you do it?” or about something I did not do, except that I did such and such. Agreed upon.

The Mother of the Believers, Aisha, may God be pleased with her, was asked about the character of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, and she said, “His character was the Qur’an.” By God, his character was the Qur’an. Rather, what is more amazing is that, may God bless him and grant him peace, he was not known to have committed any obscene words or actions during his pre-Islamic era, so how about during Islam? Rather, they called him the Truthful and Trustworthy, as a testimony from the people of disbelief, and they were in their disbelief before God Almighty blessed them with the religion of monotheism, that he was truthful and trustworthy.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, urges his nation to have good manners.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Fear Allah wherever you are, and follow up a bad deed with a good one, which will erase it, and treat people with good manners. Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi and authenticated by Al-Albani. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The heaviest thing in the scale is good manners. Narrated by Ahmad and authenticated by Al-Albani. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The heaviest thing in the scale of the believer is good manners, for Allah hates the obscene, vulgar, and foul-mouthed. Narrated by Ibn Hibban and Al-Bayhaqi and authenticated by Al-Albani. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The most beloved of Allah’s servants to Allah are those with the best manners. Narrated by Al-Hakim and authenticated by Al-Albani. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The best of the believers in faith are those with the best manners. Narrated by Abu Dawud and authenticated by Al-Albani. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The most perfect of the believers in faith are those with the best manners, and the best of you are the best to their women. Sahih Al-Jami`

Rather, the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, was asked about the best thing that a person can be given, and he said: Good character. Narrated by Ahmad and authenticated by Al-Albani. Rather, what is more amazing than all of this is that a man attains the highest ranks of servants through good character without knowing it. He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: A man attains through his good character the ranks of one who stands in prayer at night and fasts during the day. Narrated by Ibn Majah and authenticated by Al-Albani. Rather, good character is a reason for the blessing of provision, the blessing of life, and the blessing of work. He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: Maintaining kinship ties, good character, and being a good neighbor prosper homes and increase life spans. Narrated by Ahmad and authenticated by Al-Albani. Rather, good character is a reason for God Almighty’s love for the servant. He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: God is beautiful and loves beauty, and loves high morals and hates low morals. He, may God bless him and grant him peace, was asked about what most often admits people to Paradise, and he said: Fear of God and good character. And what most often admits people to Hell? He said: The mouth and the private parts. Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad, and authenticated by Al-Albani. He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: Peace be upon you. The most beloved of you to me and the closest to me in assembly on the Day of Resurrection will be the best of you in character. Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi and authenticated by Al-Albani. The Sunnah of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, is full of hadiths indicating good character. There is not enough space to mention them all because they would require volumes to be written in. I wish my people knew.

Positions of the good character of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace

My dear brother, ponder the lessons and morals in these situations so that we may learn from them. May God make me and you among those who listen to the word and follow the best of it.

2- Muslim narrated in his Sahih from the hadith of Anas, who said: While we were with the Messenger of God in the mosque, a Bedouin came and stood up to urinate in the mosque. The companions of the Messenger of God said: “Stop, stop.” The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “Do not disturb him.” So they left him until he urinated. Then the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, called him and said to him: “These mosques are not suitable for any of this. They are only for the remembrance of God, prayer, and reading the Qur’an.” He ordered a man to bring a bucket of water and pour it over him.

3- Our mother Aisha said: The Messenger of God never struck anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when he was fighting in the way of God, and he never took revenge for himself.

4- Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated in their Sahihs on the authority of Anas that he said: While I was walking with the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, wearing a thick Najrani cloak, an Arab caught up with him and pulled his cloak forcefully, leaving an imprint on the Prophet’s shoulder, may God bless him and grant him peace. He said to him: O Muhammad, give me some of God’s wealth that you have, for it is not your wealth nor your father’s wealth. The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, turned to him and laughed, then ordered that he be given something.

5- The Prophet’s position, peace and blessings be upon him, with the people of Taif. Look at how the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, responded to the insult with kindness. He went to them to invite them to Islam, but they treated him foolishly and taunted him and sent the young men and fools to throw stones at him until blood flowed from his noble foot. Then God Almighty sent the Angel of the Mountains, who said, “O Messenger of God, God has sent me and commanded me to obey your command. If you commanded me to crush the two mountains on them, I would have done so.” He said, “No, perhaps God will bring forth from their loins someone who will say, ‘There is no god but God.’”

6- The people of Mecca, look at what they did to the Messenger of God and his companions. They fought them, attacked them, took their homes and money, and planned to kill him, may God bless him and grant him peace, and expelled him from the land most beloved to God’s heart. So when God bestowed upon him the conquest of Mecca, what did he do? He said to them, “What do you think I will do to you?” They said, “A noble brother and the son of a noble brother.” He said, “Go, no blame upon you. May God forgive you.” So he released them.

Positions of good morals of the righteous predecessors

Ibrahim bin Adham was approached by a Jew who said to him, “O Ibrahim, is this beard of yours better in the sight of God or the tail of a dog?” He said, “If it is in Heaven, then it is better, and if it is in Hell, then the tail of a dog is better.” The man said, “I bear witness that there is no god but God, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God.”

Al-Fudayl ibn Iyadh was approached by a man who said, “O Al-Fudayl, so-and-so is slandering you.” He said, “By God, I will annoy him.” The man said, “Who annoys?” He said, “The devil.” So he raised his hands and said, “O God, if he is truthful, then forgive me, and if he is lying, then forgive him.”
Ali ibn Abi Talib had a slave who called him repeatedly, but he did not answer him. So he went in to him and found him asleep, so Ali said to him, “Didn’t you hear my call?” He said, “Yes, I heard.” Ali said, “Why did you not answer me?” He said, “I felt safe from your punishment, so I was lazy.” Ali, may God be pleased with him, said to him, “Go, you are free for the sake of God.”

These are the fruits of good manners. May God make us and you among those whose faith is perfect and whose manners are good, and may He grant us and you the highest paradise. Say Amen.

Written by the most needy of servants to his Lord’s forgiveness