Woman's right over husband

 

Marital life is subject to disputes between husband and wife for one reason or another. The Holy Quran has mentioned the existence of some marital disputes in various places. The

Holy Quran has mentioned this phenomenon in various places, explained its manifestations, and found ways to treat and solve it. This is what this research is concerned with, and its path has been determined by the two noble verses of Surat An-Nisa (34 and 35).

Allah the Almighty says: { Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other and because they spend (for maintenance) from their wealth. So the righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] husband's absence what Allah would have guarded. As for those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them and forsake them in the beds and strike them. But if they obey you, seek not against them a way. Indeed, Allah is ever High and Grand. And if you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted .}

Before we get into the heart of the matter, some important introductions must be made:

{ Qawwaamun }: “Qawwaam: an exaggerated form of qiyama (preserving and looking after a matter). A man is qiyama (protector) over his wife, just as a guardian is qiyama (protector) over his flock, by commanding and forbidding, preserving and protecting them” (Tafsir Ayat al-Ahkam - Muhammad Ali al-Sabuni - 1/463).

“That is: they are qiyamaun over them by obligating them to fulfill the rights of Allah, the Most High, by preserving His obligations and keeping them from corruption. Men must also oblige them to do so. They are also qiyamaun over them by providing for them, clothing them and housing them” (Taysir al-Karim al-Rahman fi Tafsir Kalam al-Mannan, by al-Sa’di, 2/29).

{ Qanitat }: “Qunut: obedience, silence, supplication, standing in prayer, and refraining from speaking” (al-Qamoos al-Muhit: al-Fayruzabadi, p. 202).

" Qatada said : That is, obedient. Others said: That is, those who are responsible for their husbands and provide for their rights." (Ma'ani al-Quran al-Karim, by Abu Ja'far al-Nahhas, 2/77).

{ Nushuzhin }: "It is said: A woman or man became nushuz, meaning: he was disobedient and treated them badly (Al-Mu'jam al-Wasit, Ahmad Hasan al-Zayyat and others, p. 922). So the nushuz woman is the one who rises up against her husband, abandons his command, turns away from him, and

hates him." (Tafsir al-Quran al-Karim, Ibn Kathir, 1/537). "Ibn Jarir narrated on the authority of al-Suddi: (Nushuzhin) he said: hating them. And he narrated on the authority of Ibn Zayd who said: Nushuz: disobeying him and the opposite." (Al-Durr al-Manthur fi al-Tafsir bi al-Ma'thur, al-Suyuti, 2/20).

{ Advise them }: that is, remind them of what God has made obligatory upon them of obedience and good treatment of their husbands (Tafsir Ayat al-Ahkam, al-Sabuni, 1/464).

{ Beds }: “Beds are the plural of bed, which is the place of lying down, meaning keep away from their beds, and do not bring them under the clothes that you put on yourself when lying down” (Nail al-Maram min Tafsir Ayat al-Ahkam, Muhammad Siddiq Hasan Khan, p. 139). “So leave them alone in bed, do not speak to them, and do not come near them” (Safwat al-Tafasir, al-Sabuni, 2/95).

{ Shaqāq }: “Its origin is that each one of them takes a side other than the side of his companion: that is, a side other than his side” (Fath al-Qadir, al-Shawkānī, 1/463).

“ Shaqāq : opposition; Either because each of them wants what is difficult for the other, or because each of them is on a side other than the other’s side” (Tafsir Abi Al-Su’ud, 2/175).

“A man slapped his wife, so she sought redress from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and this verse was revealed. Narrated by Abu Salih, on the authority of Ibn Abbas. The commentators mentioned that he was Sa`d ibn al-Rabi` al-Ansari” (Zad al-Masir fi `Ilm al-Tafsir, Ibn al-Jawzi, 2/73).

{ Advise them }: “It is a reminder of Allah in encouraging her to do what He has in terms of reward, and intimidating her with what He has in terms of punishment, in addition to what follows from that, which He informs her of in terms of good manners in general companionship, fulfilling the covenant of companionship, fulfilling the rights of obedience to the husband, and acknowledging the status that he has over her” (Ahkam al-Qur’an, Ibn al-`Arabi, 1/417).

“Whenever signs of rebellion appear to him in her, let him admonish her and make her fear Allah’s punishment for disobeying Him, for Allah has made obligatory the husband’s rights over her and his obedience to him, and has forbidden her to disobey him, because of his favor and favor upon her. The Messenger of Allah,

may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would command the woman to prostrate to her husband because of the greatness of his right over her.” Al-Bukhari narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, who said: The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace , said: “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the angels will curse her until morning.” Muslim narrated it, and its wording is: “ If a woman spends the night avoiding her husband’s bed, the angels will curse her until morning. ” (Tafsir al-Qur’an al-Karim, Ibn Kathir, 1/537-538).

“This is the first step…admonition…and this is the first duty of the guardian and head of the family…a disciplinary action…required of him in every situation: { O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from evil and from evil. } A fire whose fuel is men and stones .} But in this particular case, it is heading in a specific direction for a specific goal, which is to treat the symptoms of rebellion before they become severe and apparent.

But a verbal sermon is beneficial; Because there is often a passion, or a wild emotion, or arrogance with beauty, or money, or family position... or any value... the wife forgets that she is a partner in an institution, and not an equal in a conflict or a field of pride!... Here comes the action of a psychological movement of arrogance from the man over everything that the woman indicates of beauty, attractiveness, or other values, by which she raises herself above himself, or above the position of the partner in an institution that is under his guardianship" (In the Shade of the Holy Quran. Sayyid Qutb, 2/653-654).

{ And abandon them }: "The husband abandons her in bed by not sleeping with her or having intercourse with her to the extent that the intended purpose is achieved" (Taysir al-Karim al-Rahman. al-Saadi, 2/29).

"... The husband can show her his anger at her by abandoning her in bed and turning his back on her or leaving her bed and sleeping outside it, so perhaps the temporary separation between them will lead to igniting longing in their hearts, and arousing the longing of each of them for the other, and his determination to Sacrificing his opinions and desires in order to preserve the marriage and prevent its breakup (Women in the Holy Qur’an, Yahya Al-Mu’alimi, p. 37).

"The bed is the place of temptation and attraction, where the rebellious, haughty woman reaches the peak of her power. If the man is able to subdue his motives towards this temptation, he has dropped from the hand of the rebellious woman the most powerful weapons of which she is proud. She is - in most cases - more inclined to retreat and be submissive, in the face of this steadfastness from her man, and in the face of the emergence of the characteristic of willpower and personality in him, in its most critical places! .. However, there is a certain etiquette in this procedure.. the procedure of desertion in the bed.. which is that it should not be an apparent desertion in a place other than the place of seclusion of the spouses.. It should not be desertion in front of the children, which causes evil and corruption in their souls.. and it should not be desertion in front of strangers, which humiliates the wife or provokes her dignity, so that she becomes more rebellious. The aim is to treat the rebellion, not to humiliate the wife, nor to corrupt the children! .. Both goals seem to be intended by this procedure..

But this step may not succeed as well.. Will the institution be left to shatter? There is a procedure - even if it is more violent - but it is less severe and less than destroying the entire institution due to disobedience" (In the Shade of the Qur’an. Sayyid Qutb, 2/654).

{ And beat them }. There are etiquettes and controls for beating the disobedient:

"..but beating is the amount that makes her right for him and makes her fulfill his right. He should not beat a beating from which death is expected, because the aim is reform and nothing else. So if it leads to death, then compensation is required" (Ahkam al-Qur’an. al-Tabari, 2/359).

"The modern scholars interpreted non-severe beating as: a beating that is not severe or difficult, and beating is not like that unless it is light, and with a light instrument, such as a toothpick and the like."

On the authority of Sulayman ibn Amr al-Ahwas, on the authority of his father, that he witnessed the Farewell Pilgrimage with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, so he praised Allah and extolled Him, mentioned and preached, then he said: “ Treat women well, for they are prisoners with you, and you do not own anything from them except that, unless they commit a clear indecency. If they do, then forsake them in bed and beat them, but not severely. ” (What is behind the door? Umm Sufyan, p. 8).

According to the hadith of Hakim ibn Mu’awiyah, on the authority of his father, that a man asked the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace: “ What is the right of a woman over her husband?” He said: “That he should feed her when he eats and clothe her when he clothes himself, and that he should not strike her in the face, or insult her, or abandon her except in the house .”

Abu Dawud said: “To insult her” means to say: “May Allah make you ugly.

” Among the Prophet’s, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, advice to men is his saying: “ None of you should flog his wife like a camel’s skin and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day .”

Ibn Hajar said : “Intercourse and lying down are only desirable when the soul is inclined and desires companionship. The flogged person is usually repelled by the one who flogged him, so the indication was made to condemn that, and that even if it is inevitable, the discipline should be by light beating, such that complete aversion does not occur, so one should not go to extremes in beating or discipline” (What is Behind the Doors? Umm Sufyan, pp. 8-10).

"This is when the rebellion is not declared, but rather its signs are avoided. However, if it has been declared, then the aforementioned measures should not be taken, since they have no value or fruit, but rather they are a struggle and war between two opponents so that one of them can smash the head of the other! This is not what is intended, nor what is required. Likewise, if he sees that using these measures may not be useful, but rather will increase the distance between them, make the rebellion more apparent, and tear apart the remaining threads that are still tied. Or if using these means actually leads to no result. In all of these cases, the wise Islamic approach indicates a final measure to save the great institution from collapse, before washing its hands of it and letting it collapse..." (In the Shade of the Qur’an, Sayyid Qutb, 2/656).

{ A judge from his people and a judge from her people }: "meaning two responsible, just, rational Muslim men who know what is between spouses and know how to bring them together and separate them."

This is understood from the word "judgment"; Because no one is fit to be a judge except one who has these qualities, so they look at what each of them finds fault with the other, then they oblige each of them to do what is required of them. If one of them is unable to do that, they prevent the other husband by being content with whatever provision and character he can, and whatever they are able to bring together and reconcile, they should not turn away from it. If the situation reaches the point that they cannot come together and reconcile except through hostility, boycott, and disobedience to Allah, and they see that separating them is better, then they separate them. The husband’s consent is not required, as is indicated by the fact that Allah called them the arbitrators, and the arbitrator rules even if the one being judged is not pleased” (Taysir al-Karim al-Rahman, al-Sa’di, 2/30).